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If the Devil Wrote a Bible

by Kent Philpott

Chapter 1 Verse 1

The serpent said to the lady:

”You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”


The devil’s own commentary

This opening commentary is about two trees. I began my bible with an assurance to the woman whom youknowwho (I refuse to even write out, much less, say the name) made in his image and assured her that she would not die if she took a bite out of the fruit of tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Eve hasn’t been around long enough to know that she has to eat of the fruit of the tree of life to live forever. I would not tell her that by going against what youknowwho directed would mean removal from the garden and thus access to the tree of life. I want her to die; I hate the woman and her man, mostly because youknowwho made then and loves them. Sickening indeed.

Then I took it just a little further and told her that by eating of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil she would be like youknowwho. And more, I intimated that youknowwho did not want her to achieve such an exalted position—had actually hidden such a divine truth from her deliberately. Ah, wicked deception, slick lying and perfectly suited to my nature.

That was enough, and I got what I wanted—separated the humans from youknowwho. What a victory for the dark side. And now I could get at them. This is how it all started.


A Christian’s commentary

The devil did, in fact, say, “You will not surely die” to the lady known as Eve. It actually is in a bible, and not the devil’s, but in the real Bible.

It is found in Genesis 3.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:1-5

Who is the serpent? Simply put, the serpent is the devil himself, or maybe it should it be, itself. The devil is an it, neither male nor female.   The devil may appear as either, though. When the devil shows up as a male, this is referred to as an incubus and when he appears as a female, he is a succubus. In Genesis the devil is a serpent, a sneaky smart snake.

That great liar, the devil, twisted words and lured the woman with the possibility of living forever and being like God. Nothing much has changed over the course of human history—we want to know more and have more power than we actually have naturally.

If the devil wrote a bible, really laid it out in published form, it might be hard to see what was wrong with the message. Eve must have thought she could get something for nothing, maybe thought she was being cheated by God in not having enough knowledge. That was part of the enticement--to know just like God knew.

The devil was in the form of a snake. Maybe it was a case of possession, or perhaps it was imitation—the devil can look like anything.  One never knows what is what with the devil.  One time he shows up obviously as a fire breathing demon complete with red suit and pitchfork, another time like an angel, even an angel of light. A prophet once named the devil Lucifer, meaning day star or morning star. Crafty, super smart, beautiful, and deceptive—all the while he is a liar, murderer, and rebel against God, bent on warfare against all that He has made.


Was the devil correct?

Eve did not die. She ate of the tree, even became the first evangelist of sorts when she convinced her husband Adam to eat as well—but she did not die. The devil was right. Or was he?

What happened? First of all, Eve’s eyes, along with those of her husband, were opened. Right away they discovered they were naked. Naked—they had been naked all along and it was not an issue. Now they hid from one another, sewing fig leaves together to cover their genitals. We have been paying the price with all the guilt and shame associated with our sexuality ever since. We have a problem right at the core of our being—our sexuality.  Adam and Eve, before the trouble began, were naked, no doubt had good sex, probably had a whole bunch of kids (I am speculating here), and life was good. The devil spoke a lie, there was a great fall, and no one was ever able to put it back together again.

Next, Eve and Adam hid from God. When He came calling on the man and his wife in the garden, they hid because they were afraid. For the first time fear was a factor in their lives.  Fear of being in God’s presence had never previously existed; in fact, they had a close and personal relationship with their Maker.  God called out, and Adam spoke up and confessed he was afraid because he was naked. That is what he said, because that is what he felt. Innocence was gone. Not only was the fellowship between Adam and Eve damaged severely, but now God was to be feared. Wonderful! Guilt, shame, and now fear.

The lives of the first man and woman were altered dramatically. For the woman, there would be pain in childbirth, and there would be confusion and power struggles between the woman and her husband. The man would find life hard; he would no longer live in a garden full of easily obtained food--no, survival would mean hard work for all the rest of his life. Instead of fun in the sun in the garden with a beautiful wife, Adam would be separated from her as he sweated and fought to keep alive.

One thing the devil said turned out to be true—Eve, and Adam, would know good and evil. That knowledge marked what we call The Fall. It was a falling away from the presence of God, His peace and Sabbath rest. They had knowledge now but a knowledge only God can contain. Adam and Eve were overwhelmed and ruined as a result. Satan did achieve a victory, from his point of view. As every reader of the Bible knows, the real Bible I mean, the devil’s victory would be of a limited duration.   

Worst of all, the man and the woman had to leave their home. In the garden was the source of life, which was the tree of life. The source of eternal life would no longer be available to them. They would be sent away to the east of the Garden of Eden, and the way back would be barred to them.

Were the devil’s words inspired?

The man and the woman did not drop dead. In a sense, then, the devil’s words were true. The devil is cleverer than to be completely wrong—there is an attraction, a lesser truth.

Yes, Eve and Adam did not die--physically. The story in Genesis informs us that they went on to live a long time and have at least three more children. Of the first two children born to them, one killed the other—Cain killed Abel. Following the lie came envy, jealousy, and murder.

They did finally die, because they were sent away from the presence of God who is life. Life was difficult for them; no longer did they enjoy the garden and its bounty and beauty.

Living east of Eden, our original parents no longer had access to the tree of life, and the result would be physical death at some point. Physical death is one thing; separation from God is another. Separation from God is something that does not end but is forever. Like Adam and Eve we all die, and then there is the judgment. This is the whole thing.

If the devil can’t make us think we will never die, then he tries to convince us that physical death is all there is.    

The Greek New Testament does use the masculine personal pronoun to describe Satan and therefore “he” and “him” will be used to conform to standard biblical usage. But, Satan is still an “it”.


Read Chapter 2 in the August issue.

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