If the Devil Wrote a Bible
by Kent Philpott
Experience as much of life as you can.
All that really matters is your happiness anyway. Remember the grave is the end. Therefore I command you, reject religion, which only mires you down in rules and guilt. Explore every choice and live free. You don’t want to miss out on anything. Yes, I say, these are truly words to live and die by. Hear this so you can enjoy the short life you will have; hear it and do it. So says the wise and crafty one.
The devil’s own commentary
Building off of the last chapter, in case some may be tempted toward a twinge of conscience or thinking my way is too self-centered, let me come at it again. You will excuse this because I have the very best in mind for my followers.
Make the most of your time. Too many live worried, guilt-ridden lives. Since the grave is the end, what difference does it make what you do? I am not advocating foolish behavior that will land you in jail. No, a principle to live by is “Don’t get caught.” I may not be the best example because I got caught and I landed in a kind of jail, held in bonds of sorts, on a short leash maybe, but I am making every minute count. And so should you.
Do not think that my followers do not have an ethic that guides their way. Not at all. For instance, we do not purposely hurt anyone. Of course, we cannot worry overmuch about someone’s inner life, their emotions and feelings.
Youknowwhos’ ideas and my own differ—completely. I have already mentioned avoiding getting caught. That may not seem quite right, but let us not be naïve. Everyone cheats, lies, and grabs as much as they can for themselves. It is not only the politicians who wheel and deal—everyone does it. Don’t play the role of victim; stand up for yourself and take your share.
Those who have most thoroughly rejected the existence of youknowwho can live ethically balanced lives based upon well understood cultural norms, all the while defining for themselves what to do and what not to do. Some of my disciples live far cleaner lives than do a lot of the so-called saints.
Most of the fun humans get to have has to do with substances and sex, and combinations thereof. Now here is where there is room for creativity. My favorite rationale is to put out the idea that I should live as I was born to. DNA works for more than linking suspects to crime; it provides a cover for almost everything. Hey, “I was born this way, leave me alone. Don’t discriminate against me. I have my rights.” I could go on, but you get the idea.
How can it be wrong to act out what we feel? Repression of basic needs and desires is not good for us. Love is what we need; love is what we have to give. It is what makes the world go ‘round. How is love expressed? You determine that yourself. Love is something you feel.
Here in my bible I am giving you a way to enjoy the few short years you have. Every word comes right from my heart. It is my truth and it can be yours as well.
Let me say it again: You have impulses, desires, drives—I mean you have hormones. Let it go, grasp the moment--you can feel it can’t you? It is natural, too. Let me re-emphasize, how you are is how you were born. Act on it and ignore the moralists who would limit your pleasure. Who put the chemistry together? Not I, but youknowwho did it, so it must be good and right.
All the rules (I will have more on this later on) thwart you, stunt your development, limit your pleasure. Reject it. I love the bumper sticker, Question Authority. That was mine you know, I just don’t get to copyright my stuff. Question is only part way, but reject is all the way and we want to be all the way in.
How do we really know something is actually bad for us? It may be good, and we won’t know unless we experiment. I say try all the different kinds of sex you can. You might find something new and exciting. Check out the drugs. Those hip types were on to something—yes, expand the mind, go outside the box with mind expansion. After all, some of the most applauded artists did their best work while quite out of their minds. I would remind you these are still emulated; many artists and musicians have become very wealthy under the influence.
It is a short, brutal life. Reach out for as much as you can. Ignore the rule makers and the Bible thumpers, repress guilt, be yourself. You are a lot more like me than you might think.
A Christian’s commentary
“Youknowwho” would be the way that the devil refers to the God of creation, the maker of all that is, since the devil hopes to get people to ignore the fact that the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ is sovereign over all things. The Triune God of Scripture is also judge of all, and all will give an account on the coming judgment day. Make no mistake—the devil is a liar and his only interest is your spending eternity with him in the nether regions—hell—rather than with the Lord God in heaven. This is the bottom line.
Don’t be put off when I mention the word “hell.” There may be a temptation to dismiss my commentary, thinking that only nuts on the fringe speak with such apocalyptic terminology. And I would agree, if there was no reality to it at all. Consider, however, the biblical view, which is that hell was created for Satan and his demons; it is a place to where sin, death, and evil must be banished since God is holy and no sin can possibly come before Him. The devil offers a few cheap thrills now, thinking that will blind his followers to the greater truth, but it condemns them to a lost and miserable eternity. Not a good trade-off.
Jesus spoke of hell, and if Jesus affirmed the devil, demons, and hell—that is enough for me. Consider Jesus for a moment. No wrong was found in Him, no unloveliness displayed for a moment but always grace and mercy. He perfectly fulfilled the dozens of prophecies spoken over the course of centuries about the Messiah, satisfying each one in detail. Studying Jesus leads to the conclusion that He is indeed God become flesh, all for the purpose of taking our sin, death, and hell upon Himself on the cross.
This particular verse in the devil’s bible is dangerous, because it is partly true. Our lives are short, and it is normal that we would want to experience the life we have to the fullest. The satanic lie is that living our lives for maximum pleasure is achieved by following our hormones. Remember that due to the Fall, as recorded in Genesis chapter three, everything has changed. There is little that could be called natural and normal anymore. DNA analysis may point to our physical genealogy, but it, too, was likely corrupted by the tragedy that followed the rebellion in the Garden of Eden. The invasion of earth by Satan and his demons, and the fact that the human relationship with God was utterly broken meant that nothing would ever be the same until that day when God established His presence and His Kingdom among us. (This is yet to come but partially seen in His Body the Church.)
The devil swears that the best a human can do is experience life, living to satisfy his or her feelings. Is this right? How can we determine that we are hearing the truth? Ask someone like myself who has lived for himself and attempted to satisfy himself no matter who or what got in the way. And I am not alone. Many Christians, yes even saints in the pews, would attest to the same. The devil is a liar. Yes, the pull toward sin is powerful. My hormones would push me around without mercy and lead me to do all sorts of mischief, even utterly ignoring the dignity and personhood of others whom I would need to use in order to fulfill my lusts. Does this seem like an exaggeration? Jesus, in John 3:19-20, pointed out that people will do anything to keep their sinfulness from being exposed. Here is what He said:
And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
It is dramatic and true all at once. This is the human experience. Yes, we will hide from God, deny His truth, kill those who represent Him, and applaud those who follow the devil’s agenda. We killed the King of Glory when we nailed Jesus to the tree, and it must be we since Jesus died for our sin--and we all are guilty, too. Do you know this about yourself? This is what we all did and we don’t want to admit it.
You should expect the devil to urge sinful behavior—behavior that makes you want to hide from God, fear Him, and hate Him. And how do you hide from God? By ignoring and rejecting those whom He sends to you. This was true for me and I did not know what I was doing.
But there was Jesus, who, while dying on the cross prayed, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are going.” This prayer was answered in my life. Maybe yours as well.